No offense, but you can have happiness.  What good would it do for the world if I were to be happy?  You and I both know it’s just selfish and solipsistic. It is disconnected from the community, the species.

A real trick would be to learn how to endure emotional pain.  How to experience hurt, sadness and anger without going grey, without electo-shocking your heart muscle

Depression can be a horrid, painful chemical imbalance, especially if you fight it or you feel its wrong.  Gravity is so strong. Breathing is exhausting. The devil mumbling on my shoulder is the easiest to understand. One level of the attack is a depression about depression itself. A spiraling wallow of magnetic intoxicating syrupy grief. Plus, every time you get back up prior to your eight count, Depression socks you once more. You have to be tougher than the tough.


3 thoughts on “More than me, more than feelings

  1. “I’m happy” !!! (just don’t sing it). Or, “Christ you know it ain’t easy, you know how hard it can be. The way things are going, they’re gonna crucify me”.

  2. Good read, you have a really good point that you have to keep getting back up and getting tougher with every painful experience. It’s easy to go through the good experiences, but how you endure emotional pain is a totally different ballgame.

    I wrote a similar post where I dive into the possible benefit of these painful experiences. I hope it is as good a read for you as this was for me:

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