This is good
Awakening from a couple of sick day’s slumber.
I have really enjoyed writing in this format because it is like a new game that I’m trying to learn the rules of and how to play with them.
Its really an excuse for me to keep my own journal and organize my thoughts. I published a couple items the other day before I went into brief hibernation. Before I logged out, I noticed that someone had retweeted one of my posts. Funny thing was, that post was intended to be a draft only and I had accidentally posted it. I deleted it but only after the retweet.
I went away slightly confused. Some overly naive child inside of me imagined that as I went into my long winter’s nap, the internet was abuzz with excitement about this new clever mind that had been found(me). The other, less-dreamy side of my personality scolded the child and then fealt guilty and encouraged the (now fat)child tofurther expand upon Wishful Thinking.
Today, as I noticed that pretty much no one has looked at my wordpress page, I fealt Liberated from the tyranny of all that expectation.
Once again I felt excited to write my thoughts down. I would still like others to read and potentially comment on my thoughts, but this gives me the reality check that my thoughts are really not that interesting everyone else. There are people who care about me and who will check up on me from time to time, there are a couple who do want to read my shit, but mostly this gives me a chance to work on my craft. Adulation is not in the cards right now, so I must really need something else
Liberation is a passing feeling. It talks of permanence but it lasts for one moment. If that moment could be recorded. And then lived. Relived and lived again